EPL Kit Preview – 2011/12

16 Jun

With most of the Premiership clubs already settled on their new kits for the upcoming season, lets play Joan Rivers and take a look at what to expect from these walking billboards. Explanations and grades included.

Arsenal

Talk about more pressure to win next season. Arsenal will celebrate their 125th anniversary and have added a commemorative patch. The home kits look the same and they remain uninspiring, much like the players who wear them. However the away kits conform very well to Arsenal’s style of play – smooth, clean, and gentlemanly. The alternate kits should be renamed the “please don’t ever wear me” kits. A simple diagonal separation of colors is just a subtle way to make something heinous. 

Home 5/10
Away 8/10
Alternate 3/10

Aston Villa

Villa’s combination of claret and blue is one of the finest around. Throw in a Croatia-like checkered front and you’ve found a way to make a great kit even greater. 8/10

Bolton

Their shirt looks like a game of tetris. Not to mention an overly small and cowardly looking team patch. It’s too bad since the team played some decent football last season, and now they must try and recreate that next season wearing this piece of junk. 2/10

Chelsea

Roman Abramovic dispatches managers as often as he takes a breath. He would do well to follow suit with whomever designed their away kit. The top half looks more like an ice cube tray than an Adidas masterpiece. As for the home kit, a white strip on each shoulder along with faded blue horizontal strips across the torso make for a more modern looking shirt. Ever simple yet dignified.

Home 6/10
Away 4/10

Everton

You can never argue the addition of a collar to a jersey…unless the lining is a vomit shade of yellow, which is only the tip of the iceberg once you see the away shirt. It’s difficult to laud a kit that could potentially burn out your retina, but at least it’s not neon? The home kit is still plain and boring.

Home 6/10
Away 5/10

Fulham

Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant. While Kappa may represent a sporty “pretty boy” Italian style, an element of clean-cut pizazz that clashes with the brutish and bullish nature of English football, the full black kit throws that problem out the window. Serious, intimidating, and sheik. Can’t argue with a skin-tight shirt and two naked individuals adorning the shoulders. 9/10

Liverpool

Once again, black means business. Coupled with the silver font, and the Liverpool away kit has some true grit and steel to it. As for the alternate shirt just revealed today, the red side of the city added the color which represents their cross-town rivals – blue. A senseless act on an otherwise attractive design.

Away 8/10
Alternate 7/10

Manchester City

Unwilling to push the envelope after winning an FA Cup and qualifying for the Champions League, Man City’s jerseys are almost identical to last season’s. The only noticeable addition being a white trim on the collar of the home kit, and a stripe down each side of the torso. Simple and elegant.

Home 6/10
Away 6/10

Manchester United

A number of people commented that the United kit of 2010/11 grew on them as the season progressed. The only growth I attributed it to was fungus, and it remained ugly until the very last day. Luckily, they’ve only made the home kit even worse this time around. No words for the away kit.

Home 4/10
Away 3/10

Newcastle

Boy they did a great job differentiating between the home and away shirts… The Juventus-like stripes have been cut back for a bolder look. So bold in fact that the guy modeling their home kit, former captain Kevin Nolan, has decided to leave the club for second division West Ham! But that’s a debate for another time. Typical Puma design for the road shirts, yet it remains unique in a league full of Nike, Umbro, Reebok, and Adidas.

Home 5/10
Away 6/10

Norwich City

Celebrating their return to the upper echelon of English football, The Canaries added a touch of humility to their home kits with the v-neck and sleeve trim. It could have been a lot worse. 6/10

Stoke City

Automatic docking of points for having the exact same kits, but with a different color scheme. John Legend Jermaine Pennant makes the home kit look good but we all know how big and baggy the shirts wear on this unattractive group of long-ball players.

Home 6/10
Away 5/10

Sunderland

The candy cane striped home kit is a staple for the Black Cats, while the teal blue away kit is an audacious choice and I applaud them for taking a risk. And just as a side note, Tombola just may be the best sponsorship in the entire league: online bingo…

Home 6/10
Away 6/10

Wolverhampton

Ugly shirts for a club with an ugly record and an even uglier manager. 3/10

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2 Responses to “EPL Kit Preview – 2011/12”

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  2. Kyle July 4, 2011 at 4:31 pm #

    No Tottenham?

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