Being an English Goalkeeper is Tough

7 Sep

You might think the title refers to the rather obvious fact that English goalkeepers are sub-par for the most part. And while it is true, there is another more pressing issue for them. Not only are they committing blunders at an astonishing rate on the field, they have also been excluded from the latest hooker affair to hit the footballing world (and the second in England in two months).

This one involves England’s biggest crock at the moment, Wayne Rooney. When he wasn’t performing disappearing acts on the pitch for the national team, Wayne had sex with 21 year-old escort Jennifer Thompson of Bolton. To be precise, seven times in four months while his wife Colleen was pregnant with their first child.

While her parents believed she was serving drinks as a bartender, Jennifer was serving up her body instead to six defenders, three midfielders, and four strikers, with two of the players married with children. NO GOALKEEPERS!!  Is it because they make less money? Or did she watch the World Cup and make a logical business decision – find the best players with the most money and earn the most of your other hooker buddies. Sleep with a goalie and you’ll be a laughing stock or broke.

Let’s be straight here though. While I poke fun at this latest episode involving adultery and infidelity, it is completely inexcusable. Perhaps the English press should stop posting headlines calling their national team coach a jackass, and start attacking the heartless pigs who care more about spread-eagle young women than playing good football for their country – and who then use the manager as their excuse for playing so poorly.

And if you thought that was bad, England is also suffering from a rapid increase of injunctions granted by the High Court to allow footballers to keep their mistresses silent. And the media STILL blame Fabio Capello for England’s football demise?

Perhaps this whole idea of blooding the young players is not simply because they are more skilled than the veterans who litter the roster at the moment, but they can guarantee 100% focus since they are too young to have wives and children to cheat on.  Just a thought…

(More photos of Ms. Thompson after the jump)

(in the middle)
(Photos courtesy of bild.de)
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